Moose Turd Pie. In memory of U. Utah Philips (May 15, 1935 -- May 23, 2008)

My favorite joke is Moose Turd Pie, which I was lucky enough to hear from U. Utah Philips himself sometime in the late 1980s. The joke is both funny and extremely instructive. I tell this joke often -- although sometimes, depending on the audience, I substitute ``mustard pie.'' (Note: The joke itself starts after various preliminaries. Your patience, however, will be rewarded.)